10 Things to Do with Your Banned Baked Goods

-By Holly Breuer, Louisa Kania, and Ellory Laning-

With the advent of a new food policy that outlaws home baked goods to protect students with severe, life-threatening allergies, what are Winsor girls to do? While we, as self-proclaimed baking enthusiasts, were convinced upon receiving the policy change email that the world was certainly going to end, there is hope. With the serious issue of unclaimed baked goods in mind, The Panel has come up with 10 creative purposes for your—and our—banned baked goods:

1. Eat for breakfast…or lunch…or dinner.
2. Feed to hungry teenage boys: brothers, neighbors, and Belmont Hill students included.
3. Build architectural masterpieces instead of doing your English homework. Brownie castle, anyone?
4. Use as ammunition to fend off diabolical Winsor squirrels as you attempt to enter and exit campus.
5. Establish a black market (think Soviet-era Russia).
6. Make into—and wear as—a Lady Gaga-esque dress for prom.
7. Create a spin-off of YouTube cooking show “Epic Meal Time” (“Epic Bake Time”?), though you will probably have to abandon any vegetarian tendencies in the process.
8. Counter the effects of actually completing your P.E. requirement.
9. Bribe your way onto a packed Green Line train at rush hour.
10. Donate to a good cause. In all seriousness, check out the Birthday Wishes organization, to which you can donate cakes or cupcakes for birthday parties for homeless children at local shelters, at birthdaywishes.org!