By Ellen O’H. ’20

If you know me, you know I’m an astrology junkie. And if I know you, Winsor student body, I know you’re interested in what will happen to you over the course of the next month. Never fear because I have horoscopes right here for you all! And astrology is obviously a tried-and-true science.

Aries: You will eat 4 granola bars over the course of the month. Taurus: You will buy too much off of Amazon Prime.

Gemini: You will have at least one essay.

Cancer: You will go on vacation to Barbados.

Leo: All of your wishes will come true, but in a really weird way. Like if you wished for a dog, your brother will be replaced by a dog.

Virgo: People will mix up your name with another name that’s a couple letters different. Ex: Daniel -> Doniel.

Libra: Happy birthday Libra!

Scorpio: You will find money but then realize it’s counterfeit. You will become an accessory to this crime. You will be arrested for your role.

Sagittarius: Your new shoes will be ruined within hours of purchase. Ex: white uggs + grape slushy.

Capricorn: Somebody in your life will disappear. Just straight up disappear. They’ll return soon, but only when the Event is complete.

Aquarius: Sully from Monsters, Inc. will be your lab partner, but he won’t do his work. You’ll have to do it all by yourself.

Pisces: Don’t open your locker….